A note to the guy in the Friend Zone

While some may dread being dropped in the friend zone, it isn’t the worst place to be. Would you rather we cut off all ties and forms of communication? If so, you probably didn’t really like the one who put you in the zone in the first place.

No matter how you ended up there, there was a reason. Most likely it was because you’re valued as a friend, and while there’s no desire to take the relationship beyond that, there’s still the desire to keep you part of the inner circle. Is that really so terrible? If it is, feel free to remove yourself from said circle.

As a woman who has put her share of men in this zone, it offends me to hear it’s because I’d rather date assholes. No one wants to date assholes. It’s not my fault that the men I’ve been attracted to turn out to have certain characteristics that lead to assholic behavior, but I assure you this is just as frustrating to me as it is for the last guy I friended.

There have been times I’ve been told that maybe my standards are too high. Try telling that to my father and see what happens. Just don’t start this conversation around his power tools or there may be an unfortunate accident. If searching for a kind, honest man who I’m physically and mentally attracted to because he can hold a conversation and make me laugh is deemed as being too picky, well then looks like I’ll be single for a while.

Just because you’re in the friend zone now, doesn’t mean you’ll be there forever. Who knows, one day we may have a romcom revelation and see that ‘the one’ has been right in front of us all along. However, I wouldn’t stay in the zone waiting for this to happen, nor would I suggest anyone settle in any relationship.

As a writer of fiction, I’ve crafted a few of my ideal men. I know how ironic that sounds, but some characters have been based on people in my past that didn’t make it to my present; however, I still hold out hope for the future. I know they’re not all fictional. There are still good guys in the world. I see them in my family members, circle of friends, and even in my friend zone.

Don’t hate the zone. We need to keep in touch with the good guys of the world, even if we don’t have the desire to sleep with them. The next time you hear ‘just friends’ please take it as a compliment. It’s better than ‘F off’ or complete radio silence. We all need friends, so hold on to the ones you have and be grateful for the new ones you find.

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